BooDoo’s Neighborhood

Initial Assessment

jenegade
Sep 28, 2009
Post a comment

I have to find the words for all of this. After nearly six months of hiatus from writing, I am striving to attain some sort of assessment of this current state of things. Perhaps if I start with the bare essentials, if I set some the stage, the rest will fall in place. I live at home, with my parents. I live in my once-bedroom-converted-to-guest-room-reconverted-bedroom. Most of the time, I sleep here. Sometimes I don't. Now my room has two bookcases, one I hauled in when I moved back in April. It has furniture that's vastly too big for the space. A new addition, two whiteboards are screwed into my walls, providing a canvas for graduate school plans / meanderings / random thoughts / strategies.

The other night, I cycled through all of the movie trailers that are currently posted on the iTunes website; I made of list of the ones I want to see. I just saw It Might Get Loud, which I enjoyed immensely, even though it is Sunday. It made me feel good, at least for the time that I was there. I spend a lot of my spare time reading, too. I peruse Digg for interesting stories, building up ten or twenty tabs in my browser to cycle through. I'm reading this series of very long novels that prominently features time travel. I'm on the second on in the series. I update my Twitter, sometimes frequently, sometimes not, and I worry a lot about my internet presence, because I was recently advised that I must be. I drink a lot of tea, a function of my job, and I try to turn others onto it as well. I troll the internet for tea supplies. I read books for work, some for pleasure, buy what seems like hundreds of test prep books. I have been preparing for the GRE for what actually boils down to 14 or so months at this point. I am taking it in two weeks. It seems nominal, at this point, but I know it shouldn't.

I have two jobs. By day (and weekend nights), I am a sales lead at Teavana. By night (and weekend day), I have another job, which I can't talk about. I don't work for the CIA. Otherwise, it's off limits. I spend a majority of my time thinking about each of these jobs, scheduling, remembering to eat between, driving. I commute a lot, but I like the morning commutes to Teavana, and I like opening the store there. Between these two things, I am busy, tired at the end of the day, and happy to get my paychecks. They go to bills, mostly from Brown or field work expenses from years ago, if not gas, tea, food, books, music, media.

I spend a lot of times learning words like lugubrious, lachrymose, apotheosis, inculcate, canard. More, I worry about time. I look at the clock, I look at the calendar, I feel the changing weather, and I watch the leaves turn toward autumn. I worry that I'll not apply to graduate programs again this year, that I'll waste another year procrastinating. I am worried that I have nothing to say in my personal statement because I have too much to say. I worry that I will come across as unfocused. In truth, I am unfocused. I want to study all things (okay, not medicine, law, business, accounting, dance, nursing, banjo-playing, etc.); I want communicate that I want to think through all my ideas about information, images, visual learning, education, public humanities, outreach, public history, storytelling, and so on at a university or college with other like-minded folks, that I can't think about things on that level here because I'm thinking about my work or my future in the abstract sense.

I see the application process unfold in front of me, (and I would like to note, matter-of-factly and with all acceptance that this has had very little practical application in my life, that I was very, very good at school). Some mornings, I look at my schedule and I know with certainty that I will not be able to complete anything in the process on that day. I know that I won't do any self-improving that day. As you may see, I have planned this poorly.

That's the basis of my dilemma. I see things unfold on all of these different levels. I see the daily tasks, the practicalities of every day life. I see my bills, my daily commute, my first cup of tea, my on-the-run lunch, my books for work, my emails, my schedule, timesheets, paychecks. I see the month in pay periods, then in days off (also newly rare), then in occasional 13-hour days.

Then, I see my friends, nights when I can stay out late watching movies, talking about things, making long-distance calls to stay in contact, weekly at least. I see my weeks in terms of trips out of state (rare outside the summertime), my family commitments, movies, opportunities to go out dancing, plans to spend the night here or there. I see everyone's trajectory, and I see my own.

Another level entirely: companionship, love, romance, commitment, dating, marriage. I have always loved these things. Now, they lose their pull for me, as if that part of me is scar tissue, and I see it but can't perceive it, can't feel it, and certainly don't act on its behalf. I once believed that the obvious path for all who desired it included some sort of partner, that unless you intentionally avoided it, love would come, and it would eventually fit, be right, work out, and move through the various stages of whatever. Now, I don't know that I'll ever really, romantically love anyone. It seems an absurd thought to me, but also entirely plausible. I have had relationships, and they have not worked out in the end, and perhaps there are no more in the future to be had, because I don't want to do the things that I did previously again.

All of these levels. Work, friends, education / occupation / life plans, love (or lack thereof), all swirling around. And on top of that, time ticks, disappears, is never retrieved or rebuilt. Never pauses. Each day, each week, each month marches forward. How does anyone ever do anything? I want to be satisfied, and I now I have been before. But I can't get no satisfaction. And it weighs on me.

Got into an AB confrontation. Shoulda C-n my way out of it.

progress
Aug 29, 2009
Post a comment

A and B are dating

B and C are friends

A and C never get along

A and B start fighting

for seven years

C wishes B was happy

A hates C for being honest enough to acknowledge B's unhappiness

B confides in C

C tries to make B laugh at all of it

A blows up B's phone whenever B hangs with C

C makes fun of A

A hates C and harps on B for not getting defensive

A gives B and ultimatum

B hates A for giving ultimata

C laughs at and makes fun of A publicly

A attempts to make stupid private political contact with C

C allows stupid private exchange with A

A reveals static about B

C tells A it's A's static, not B's.

A apologizes to C for wronging B, backpedals,

C recommends apologizing instead to B

B hangs with C

B uncovers and learns of stupid private political connection A made with C earlier

C tells B don't trip

A blows up B's phone (remember proximity rule)

B blows up A

C shakes head, tells B stay cool.

B not returning phone calls

A deleted facebook

C still playin mafia wars.

Why I am may never purchase another Dell

House of Ayers
May 20, 2009
1 comment

I accidentally unplugged my laptop while I was adjusting my desk and without the battery inside it shut off. This has happened many times before without a problem. However, when I plugged it back in it wouldn't boot. I used one of my Ubuntu LiveCDs to boot into an OS so I could complain on the internet and verify that this was a boot record thing and not a hard drive thing. There is now a Windows partition sitting where my root Ubuntu partition used to be.

You've got to be FUCKING me.

My only guess is that I accidenatlly hit the "media direct" button and the ghost image that Dell installs at the factory decided to overwrite it. I had intentionally wiped this in the Fall of '07 so I have no clue how this happened. Fortunately I have my important data in its own paritions so this shouldn't cost me more than a few hours of reinstalling Linux and hopefully not breaking anything worse.

Lyrical Musing

BooDoo
May 6, 2009
Post a comment

"Leavin' pussycats like why hoes need Kotex ." -- MF DOOM

So DOOM uses this line in "Accordian" off the Madvillian album (you must listen if you haven't.) Got me thinking about how rarely reference to particularly feminine themes are used in rap particularly, and lyrics in general.

I will have to author a battle-rap wherein I boast of my skills by suggestion that my words hit with such force that they reduce all other MCs to a streak of menses.

If you get into a battle rap before me, feel free to steal this rhyme.

I'm sorry that this is the update I'm making- but it is.

Semester II Post-mortem

In the end grades turned out fine, thanks to a favorable curve in Systems Neuroscience.

Have I mentioned that I was taking a course in LabVIEW? It was so easy that I almost never thought about it. For my final project I worked with their image processing toolkit to develop an eye tracking system. For whatever reason thats a really popular first step in image processing. It turned out OK, but it was nothing to write home about. I take that back, technically this is writing home about it.

I start in a new lab soon. Here's the webpage. ( Although that is subject to change, based on funding ). Wherever I end up this Summer I hope I like it a lot because I don't want to do another rotation. I need to get started on thesis work so I'm not stuck in school forever.

In the fall I'll be taking the gigantic Cellular and Molecular Neuroscience course that meets 4 times a week for 2 hours and maybe something else if I feel like pushing it.

Since last I wrote I've made a few acquaintances so I'm not spending all my Friday nights alone. I still spend a lot of my free time biking on my own. Or should I say walking my bike home because I get flats like every other day. I'm investing in some bomb proof tires soon enough.

I submit the first part of my preliminary exam tommorow. The underlying theme is the transformation of stimulus locations from auditory to visual reference frames. You can look towards an unseen auditory stimulus easily because you don't consciously account for the differences in head and retina position. It just happens and as a result you can dodge perps in dark alleyways etc.

An even harder transformation is the one that occurs when you look towards a tactile stimulus. You need to somehow convert a position on an extremity into a retinal error signal. That includes accounting for every joint between that point and your eyes. By way of example: a sensation on your fingertip must be transformed through every knuckle, then the wrist, the elbow, the shoulder, the neck and then the retina. Each of these elements can have several degrees of freedom. Good luck working that out champ.

durr shattered

Taken
Mar 23, 2009
Post a comment

um need orthopedist

Wheels off the wagon

Failed another exam. This term is going swell.

ADMIN MSG: NOW HIRING

Taken
Mar 18, 2009
1 comment

THE WORLD OF WARCRAFT VOX GROUP IS LOOKING FOR AN EXPERIENCED MODERATOR.

JOB REQUIREMENTS:

MUST HAVE TWO YEARS CUSTOMER SERVICE EXPERIENCE
MUST HAVE PLAYED THE OPEN OR CLOSED BETA OF THE ORIGINAL... WORLD OF WARCRAFT.
MUST HOLD ONE COLLECTORS EDITION KEY.
MUST BE AN ACTIVE VOX ACCOUNT HOLDER.
MUST BE AN ACTIVE WOW PLAYER. (CASUAL GAMERS EXCEPTED)
MUST HAVE BLUE OR GREEN EYES.

WE ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT EMPLOYEE'S OF BLIZZARD ENTERTAINMENT AND OR BLIZZARDS VERY FUN NEW CORPORATE OWNER.

YOU MUST MEET ALL JOB REQUIREMENTS BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR RESUME, APPLICATION AND PERSONAL PHOTO TO "WORLD OF WARCRAFT" THE VOX GROUP!

PLEASE SEND ALL APPLICATIONS W/ ATTACHED RESUME'S AND PHOTOS TO MY VOX ACCOUNT. IF YOU FAIL TO ATTACH YOUR RESUME OR MEET ANY JOB REQUIREMENTS PLEASE DO NOT APPLY. WE ARE VERY BUSY.

SINCERELY YOUR GROUP MODERATOR,

TAKEN

Vacation

Today marks the start of "Spring Break", which for me means a) no classes, and more importantly b) no new papers to grade. Which isn't to say that I don't have a stack of papers to grade, because I do. I had a Systems Neurobiology exam on Friday that I might have passed, which is fairly important considering I'm not doing so hot in that class.

But for today I have dedicated to not doing anything relating to school or lab. I got up early, and rode some trails a Frick. I met a Portuguese grad. student and we rode together for a little bit. After that I hit the slag pit and climbed a few hundred feet into the slag pit. I'm very stoked and very tired.

I found time to play sax today too. I don't think I've picked it up since the Fall.

Tomorrow I'll probably be back to studying, but not too hard.

A NEW WARRIOR Has Entered the Ring

BooDoo
Mar 2, 2009
Post a comment

Hello, everyone!

Are you playing Street Fighter IV? Please friend me on X-Box Live for battlings. My GamerTag is BOODOOperson.

Other news: Amanda and I were considering GDC, but that doesn't look like it will be happening at this point as enthusiasm has leveled.

Haven't played as much music as I should recently, I've been Team Fortressing or Street Fightering instead. I've recorded almost literally nothing, so that needs to change. SG and Strat could both use some attention/setup, but that's no excuse!

I tried to call out due to the storm today, but instead I ended up working the 12:30-9PM shift because two people had beaten me to calling out, one of whom works this shift. Showed up to work and the cafe in our building is closed, so I'm not sure what is happening re: food today. I may eat people's brains.

That's all for now. Peace out, Seacrest!